It's been MAYhem
Neglecting my Substack and reading Arrangements in Blue by Amy Key
As my good friend Lecsi put it, May was MAYhem, and she’s not wrong. Between starting a new job, making the most of the sunny weather, and re-entering my going out era (I can’t help being such a legend, sorry), I seriously neglected my Substack.
However, as I stumbled through the front door at 6.30 on Saturday morning, at the same time as my sister was heading out for a run, I decided it was probably time to grow up. And when I say grow up, I mean write a Substack.
So, here we are, and this week I thought I’d share my thoughts on Arrangements in Blue: Notes on Love and Making a Life by Amy Key, which I devoured last weekend.
As a 22-year-old, perpetually single woman, I’m not sure a book has ever had such a profound effect on me - and I am well and truly part of the Everything I Know About Love generation.
You see, Key took the notion of singledom and translated it onto paper in a beautiful, profound, and relatable way.
One of the things I loved most in Arrangements in Blue, is Key’s refusal to shy away from the fact that being single is shit sometimes, and it can feel as though you’re not allowed to admit that.
Key’s exploration of her “unmet desire for romance” and the “physical and emotional closeness” that she so craved, was refreshing. As was her refusal to compromise just because she was single.
She writes: “There was also the assumption that as a person sleeping alone, I would be happy in a small bed, small room or even to sleep in a makeshift space. I complained about it to my sister on a family holiday where I had a mattress on a mezzanine level, and people would be walking past my bed as I slept”.
“I resented the reinforcement of my lack of status, and the expectation that privacy was not as important to me as it was for people in romantic relationships”.
In the final chapters, Key addresses the single person’s most-pondered question: “What is wrong with me?”.
Of course, the answer is nothing is wrong with you, however what struck me most was Key’s refusal to settle.
As much as she wants to fall in love, and delight in the pursuit of romance, she doesn’t want to just make do by “scraping off the surface of a burned piece of toast”.
Key also resolves to refuse any relationship that “erupts into self-loathing”, and if that’s not a resolution to live, and love, by, I’m not sure what is.
Anyway, I’m going to go and listen to Joni Mitchell’s 1971 album Blue, which has been an anchor in Key’s life since she was a teenager, for the umpteenth time. Strangely, it has already been mentioned in my current read: In Extremis: The Life of War Correspondent Marie Colvin by Lindsey Hilsum, so I’m taking it as a sign.